OK....Supermarkets...

Picture the scenes....a busy supermarket...queues at each till...most of which are out of order or not manned. Chavs flood the place buying cider and cigarettes and some old ladies meet to talk about the price of fish in the middle of a narrow isle while little Johnny and his "borderline genius" sister run round the place on scooters....now as if that isnt enough...you queue...you have a few things...maybe the correct money.

Infornt of you is Miss "I never shop here but it was convenient" - she has her "Taste The Difference" bubble bath and her new pretty patterened fucking panty things...she reaches the oik at the till and he or she scans the goods...she makes no conversation as she never really shops here....then it happens...

"£9.85 please" bird brain of britain squeaks from the till.

OH AND WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE....she has to FIND her PURSE!!!

For Gods sake we have been in a queue since Noah built the Ark...and she has to FIND her purse at the bottom of her designer handbag ( made in Taiwan...dont get me started)......

Coupons...she has COUPONS. What is the matter with these retards...fuck off and order your panty liners ONLINE and do us all a favour.

Finally after some more farting around with the plastic bag and packing slowly like she is handling the crown fucking jewels the twat makes way for someone as nice as me...

You can see where this blog is going...I better take a tablet.

 Every Little Helps.

Lets start by boring you about me....

Ok I am old....54 right now going on 60. I live in Surrey in a town near the river Thames...very nice..full of all the kinds of people you would expect to see..and a few you wouldnt. More of that later.

I have 3 wonderful kids...more of them later, and a wonderful boyfriend called Sausage - yes I can hear you being sick right now....more on him later too. We have a dog called Oscar, a cat called Pip and a refugee cat from the coast called Miss Billie...shes a nutty as a fruit cake. More of them later too.

Now the crux of the nut...as my colleague at work says (hes Turkish and gets it all wrong)....

I will start with what I came here to do...to moan...and wander down a road I hope you enjoy and maybe it will not be all residents parking.

First Post....hope not the last...

OK...maybe this will be therapy...maybe it will just be a waste of time...lets see...

I thought I would create this little space to air my thoughts and my rants on life in general....I will put up some pictures that explain things along the way...and try and make some sense of the stuff I will be writing about...

Where to start....thats the question...