Lets start by boring you about me....

Ok I am old....54 right now going on 60. I live in Surrey in a town near the river Thames...very nice..full of all the kinds of people you would expect to see..and a few you wouldnt. More of that later.

I have 3 wonderful kids...more of them later, and a wonderful boyfriend called Sausage - yes I can hear you being sick right now....more on him later too. We have a dog called Oscar, a cat called Pip and a refugee cat from the coast called Miss Billie...shes a nutty as a fruit cake. More of them later too.

Now the crux of the nut...as my colleague at work says (hes Turkish and gets it all wrong)....

I will start with what I came here to do...to moan...and wander down a road I hope you enjoy and maybe it will not be all residents parking.